I participated in the Volcano Theatre’s inFORMING CONTENT symposium, themed FOOD, this spring. We listened to lectures presented by Jackman Humanities Institute Fellows, broke into groups, and, based on the lectures, within a few hours created interactive theatre for the public to participate in. I love Volcano Theatre.

My team was under the leadership of the talented playwright David Yee. We chose the sub-themes halal / kosher/ gagging to play with. Other than that, the field was wide open.

The following is the piece I wrote and delivered in the guise of a priest from behind a screened window – one audience member at a time. It was an astonishing experience, confessor to such diverse reactions! I adapted the script with each “confession” based on the answers I was receiving. The absolution, mentioned at the end, was a pre-wrapped host along the lines of Twinkie. Not a lot of takers …

As you read it, I invite you to give your confession …

Confessions in a Post Nutrient World   

i bless you my son /daughter
for you are worthy, even if you are what you eat.

we will begin the confession of your food intake.
will you eat fruit
will you eat cactus
will you eat frog testicle
will you eat eel
will you eat shark finned soup

will you eat turtle eggs
will you eat scorpion
will you eat bloated wax worm
will you eat rice
will you eat rice crawling with maggots
will you eat hamburger
will you eat hot dog
will you eat entrail of animal prickled with its fractured bone and seamed with its blood

will you eat sandwich
will you eat sandwich half eaten, unwrapped and salvaged from a public garbage pail

will you eat chicken
will you eat chicken raised in a dark shed, squatted in the feces of 100 chickens, without room to move, or peck, fed antibiotics, growing 3 wings and 2 heads and a buggered pope’s nose

will you eat monkey nuts
why not
will you eat spider legs
why not

will you eat white icing mined with titanium dioxide contaminated with lead
will you eat hamburger saturated with veterinarian medicines, heavy metals and staph bacteria causing more annual deaths than AIDS
will you eat hamburger rinsed in ammonia
will you eat cockroach
will you eat fish sperm
will you eat silkworm

will you eat sex hormones in milk
will you eat Beaver Anal Gland Juice labelled as “natural flavoring” in your processed food and beverage
will you eat fetal duck
will you eat sheep’s head
stink head
jellied moose nose
bat paste
sheep’s eyes
lamb brain
duck feet
quail beak

will you eat pig intestines
are you threatened by malaysian peoples
will you eat sawdust
will you eat cabbage rotting  6 weeks underground
do you harbor ill feelings toward koreans

will you eat horse
will you eat dog
will you eat cat

will you eat raven
will you eat squirrel

will you eat squirrel if war comes to your doorstep, your water is nuked, the banks are bankrupt, embargo is dictated and the grocery shelves have been depleted of everything except the withered leaves of month old parsley

will you eat raccoon
if the pipeline leaks, the farmlands are fracked, all food that eats of the earth, breathes of the air and soaks up the water is poisoned and the raccoon, fattened with yesterdays garbage bunkers under your broken porch and your children are starving

will you bless the raccoon

will you thank the squirrel for its life

will you share your feast with your frightened neighbour

will you wash your hands

will you partake of your blessed absolution
with this delicacy congested with artificial ingredients, saturated fats, exorbitant amounts of sodium,  325 calories and zero nutritional value

for you are a child of the universe

go in peace.

copyright(c)judith cockman

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